Doubt, Call, Trust                                                                           (John 1: 43-51)

 

What is doubt?

A text on a poster showing a mountain climber in the Himalayas explains it this way: Doubt is when “in the battle between you and the world you bet on the world”.

 

In an encyclopaedia we find these definitions:

1. To be undecided or skeptical about something

2. To tend to disbelieve; to distrust

3. To regard as unlikely

4. To suspect; to fear.

 

The following story also describes very well what doubt is:

A first-grade teacher seated her students in a circle. She asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up.
One by one, each child got up and announced, “I’d like to be a nurse like my mother,” or “I want to be a banker like my father,” or “I want to be a teacher like you, Miss Smith.”
The last child to speak was the most shy and timid little boy in the class. He said, “When I get big, I’m going to be a lion tamer in the circus. I’m going to face those animals with my whip and chair and make them leap through hoops of fire and obey all of my commands.”
Seeing the disbelieving looks on the faces of his classmates that he could ever act so boldly or bravely, he was quick to reassure them, “Well, of course, I’ll have my mother with me”.

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The classmates in this story doubt. They don’t believe that the shy little boy would ever accomplish what he said he would. The little boy himself doubts his own abilities. He doesn’t think that he could be a lion tamer all by himself. He needs his mother to be with him. So there is doubt in the truth, doubt in others and doubt in ourselves.

Nathanael also doubts. His sarcasm (“Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”) shows that he doubts what Philip tells him about Jesus.

Nazareth was an unimportant little village at that time. No kings, no heroes, no great rabbis, no people with influence had come from there. Nazareth was unlike Bethlehem where king David was born for example.

Nathanael’s sarcasm is an expression of his disbelief, his distrust in what is presented to him as the truth.

 

But to Jesus Nathanael’s doubt doesn’t really matter. Jesus acts in a pretty surprising way. One could expect Jesus to say: you are not a believer, we have to fix this. But instead he says: "Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit”.

I guess one could call it a compliment. Jesus is acknowledging Nathanael’s honesty – honesty is his strength. This is what qualifies him as a disciple.

 

Nathanael doesn’t have to be a believer in the first place to be allowed to follow Jesus. WE don’t have to be believers in the first place to be allowed to follow Jesus.

Yes there is doubt. There is the question who will win the battle: you or the world? And it doesn’t matter if you bet on the world or yourself in this battle. Just follow Jesus. That’s what matters.

Sometimes we just have to live with that doubt. We as disciples have to live with unanswered questions. But we have to keep going.

As Christians we are allowed to have doubts, we are allowed to have questions but we are still meant to follow Jesus. Jesus still wants us to be on board when it comes to the kingdom of God. He still wants us because he knows us like he knew Nathanael. Jesus knows our weaknesses – like doubt. But he also knows our strengths - like honesty, empathy, and love. He knows that we are not perfect but he knows that we are good people. This is why he calls us to follow him. He knows it and he wants us to know it.

 

We follow Jesus and somewhere along the way we will loose the doubt like Nathanael did. Somewhere along the way we will see the truth. Somewhere along the way doubt will be replaced by trust.

And when that happens you can change the sentence into “In the battle between you and the world, bet on God.” This is exactly what trust is!

 

Nathanael’s doubt, his disbelief was finally replaced by trust. Jesus changed this sarcastic, disbelieving man completely, simply by telling him: “I saw you under the fig tree, even before Phillip called you”. So Jesus knew about Nathanael’s sarcasm. He knew about his disbelief. But  he was still willing to acknowledge his honesty. This loving / caring attitude of Jesus wiped out Nathanael’s doubt. What Jesus was saying is : Yes, I know your weaknesses. But I still want you to follow me. I still want you as my disciple. And such a simple thing will change doubt into trust, will change a whole person.

 

Trust isn’t something Nathanael could have gained by his own effort. We as well can’t create our own trust. This is something that comes from God. It is a gift from God, given through the Holy Spirit. Because this is what belief is, what faith is: trust in God. This story about Nathanael is wonderful example that doubt will eventually be replaced by trust on our way with God. This story is meant to encourage us to keep walking with God no matter how challenging this sometimes is.

 

Walking with God s definitely challenging. Take South Lyon Power & Light for example: 2009 we get a lot less financial support from the Synod and the national church than last year. We still need to pay our bills and the pastor. The senior pastor of our north campus is leaving and we don’t know what impact this has on SL P&L. Right now we are also not really growing as a mission church.

 

I wouldn’t be surprised if this would make some of us doubt. It makes me doubt sometimes if we really are on the right way. It makes me being sceptic if this really is what God wants us to do. Is God really behind all this? Is God really in all of this? DOUBT

And then this little story about Nathanael pops up in the lectionary. And I don’t think that it is coincidence that we get to hear this story right now at this point in our mission development.

 

I am convinced that God is telling us right now: “Yes, I see that you are struggling. I also see that you have doubt that you are doing the right thing. I see that you have doubt about the success of this mission. But I also see your strengths in all of this. I also see that you are still willing to do something for the community, to do let other know about my love for them. I see your doubt, but just keep going, just keep following me, and Trust will come eventually somewhere along the way.”

 

And then there are the surprised, unbelieving and smiling faces of people at the Laundromat for whom you’ve just paid the laundry and you can feel the trust coming back. The trust that we are really heading in the right direction with what we are doing.

 

When we keep walking with God, doubt will be replaced by trust, uncertainty will be replaced by confidence. When we keep following the call our attitude will change. It will happen eventually that we can say
If I am going to doubt anything at all I doubt my limits.

 

The trust, God is creating in us, eventually will make us strong and confident. It will make us bold enough to say: “If you are going to doubt something, doubt your own limits. God will give us the confidence to accomplish more than we think we are capable of.

If you doubt your own limits you will be able to go beyond them. You will be able to climb that mountain although you are afraid of heights. You will be able during karate practice to throw that punch that has great impact although you feel exhausted and tired after an hour of practice.

 

As a disciple of Jesus Christ you will be able to help others, to spread the gospel, to be the person God longs for you to be. God WILL create trust in us (or already has). And we WILL be able to deal with the difficulties in this church. We WILL raise funds. And we WILL be able to make this little mission church grow. We WILL touch people’s hearts with the Gospel.

 

If you are willing to doubt your own limits as a disciple then – as Jesus puts it - you will see greater things, you will see heaven opened and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.

 

Amen.